Why the Crazy Name?

I was told by a friend today, kind of demanded really to start blogging.  The really funny part of it is that he sent it in a text saying "get your own BOG up now".  We had been talking about a scripture about a marsh and I thought he was talking about the marsh (bog) - it took me a few minutes before I understood it was a typo!  I guess it was a blonde moment on my part - oh well!

So why the crazy name?  Well....  My heart is to write about embracing who you are, the REAL you that God made, the amazing, wonderful you that He has called you to be, whether that is celebrated by others or not.  The Lord gave me a great illustration of this this summer.  In July I went with a couple friends to a conference in South Carolina.  I guess I had a prejudice that I really wasn't aware of or at least wasn't ready to admit... that I HATE tambourines, can't stand them!  It always seemed to me that the people who chose to pull one out during times of worship for some reason could not find a musical beat to save their lives.  I wasn't a fan of their sound and was even less of a fan of them being played off beat and it was a horrible distraction to me.  I guess I had also passed judgement that it was kind of "the weird tambourine lady" thing to do - yes, horrible thought I know, but hadn't really realized I had been thinking it, until... One night at the conference in July during a sweet time of worship, the presence of God was amazing, I felt like the Lord was wanting me to dance, well I don't dance!  Or at least not for years, and immediately I felt self conscious and uncomfortable, but at the same time felt like there was a freedom that would come from it and I wanted that, so I moved a little and tried to convince myself it was dancing.  I felt the Lord saying, No, REALLY dance!  But as much as I wanted to, I just couldn't get myself to do it, couldn't get out of my own skin enough.  The next morning during the time of worship, I felt the same thing and again, just couldn't do it.  That night, I was determined, went up to the front during worship, and had an amazing time of worship and yes, a little dance.  After the message that night there was an extended time of prayer and the worship leader began a song.  A beautiful woman in her sixties got up, stood right in front of me and began to dance, and then I realized she had a tambourine in her hand... SO yes, my thoughts went immediately to, yep, she's weird, but standing RIGHT THERE, 3 feet in front of me, it was kind of like God saying, "do you see this?"  As I watched her, something amazing happened, instead of seeing some weird tambourine lady acting a fool, a saw for just a brief second how God must see her... it was beautiful!  Her dance was beautiful, the tambourine on beat and rhythmic, and more than that was the grace and peace I saw on her face....  she didn't care one bit if I was standing there in judgement of her or not, not in a weird, out there defiant way, but in a peaceful understanding of who she is way.  She danced before her Lord in peace, in freedom and it was incredibly beautiful.  So, I no longer hate tambourines, not because I don't hate tambourines, because really I still don't  like them, but for what they have come to mean to me... it isn't about their sound or whether they are played according to my sense of musical prowess, it is for what they now stand for in me... embracing who it is God has made me to be whether those around me judge or misunderstand me or not, freedom is calling, and I am embracing the things of His heart (yes, even the things I don't understand like crazy tambourines) to know Him more... deep calls to deep, the presence of my God is just too sweet to substitute for man's approval, even if that means to someone else that I am their weird tambourine lady.  My "weird tambourine lady" taught me a wonderful lesson... who cares, just dance!