The Trouble with Fondant, Careless Words and a Gun

 "Gracious words are a honeycomb,
  sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."  Proverbs 16:24




Anyone who knows me knows that I love to bake.  Some of my fondest memories are of waking up on a Saturday morning at my pop's house with the wonderful smell of fresh cinnamon rolls baking.  That smell still makes me miss him.  I love to bake for many reasons... for one, I have a terrible sweet tooth! (having professional bakers for grandparents probably sealed that for me!), but maybe even more than that, I love to bless people and I remember what a blessing my grandparent's wonderful baking was to me.  It showed me they cared, to take the time and effort to make me something amazing, just because they loved me.

Generally I am not a fan of reality shows, but as I was I flipping through the channels Monday night, I starting watching "The Next Great Baker".  The show is a contest to become the next baker at Carlo's Bakery (a really big deal to anyone trying to "make it" in the baking world).  The three contestants that won the challenge got to choose two others to be on their team for an elimination challenge.  One of the men that had won this challenge was so endearing, he was so open, so excited that Buddy liked his desert.  He had such a great quality about him that I was so hoping he did well.  He choose two other guys because he knew that they were really good and said that he could learn from them, he had such a humility about him.  After the whole thing was over, his team did not end up doing well and they were up for elimination.  The two other guys on his team began to say how they had carried the whole thing and how bad his part of the cake had been because of his inexperience with fondant (something they had already known and he had asked if what he had done was acceptable to them).  So, the young man known by his army buddies as "Sergeant Cake", was eliminated, went home to North Carolina and shot himself in the head, leaving a wife and two young children.  The show simply had a "in memory of" mention of him at the end of the show, a quick Goggle search told the rest of the story.


For the past couple of weeks I have been thinking about the power of words and this tragic story just brought it home to me even more.  Why is it that someone gets to the point that life seems so hopeless that suicide seems like a solution?  I am sure it wasn't just the show and the words of his team mates, (I know they had no idea what he was going through and are probably dealing with much pain over the situation themselves) I am sure that there were many things that had piled up, one straw at a time, piling up...  but what WAS the LAST straw?  Was it his service in Iraq, was the rejection more than he could take, did the imperfect fondant and the unkind words break his spirit or was there something else that became that last straw?  I guess we will never know.


How many people do we touch every day that have the weight of the world on their shoulders, that have the straws piling up?  How many broken spirits hiding behind smiling faces have you seen today?  How many need a kind word and the hope of Christ that is in you?

Wise words satisfy like a good meal;
  the right words bring satisfaction.

 The tongue can bring death or life;
  those who love to talk will reap the consequences.  (NLT) Proverbs 18:20-21


  The words of the reckless pierce like swords,
  but the tongue of the wise brings healing."  Proverbs 12:18

Can our words literally bring life or death?  Could our words change a life?  Many years ago I was in a place of desperation and for a moment suicide seemed like a way out of the pain.  I am so thankful that one person, a woman I worked with but did not know very well, saw behind my smile and spoke an encouraging word, it was her words that I remembered when the desperation got so bad that I almost made that horrible decision, and it was her words that kept me from making it.  This situation showed how important words can be - Joan's words literally brought life to me, and how something as simple as encouragement can make the difference to someone in pain.


It is so easy not to notice what others are going through... we all want to but, but we all have very busy lives and sometimes people are very good at hiding the pain inside. I am asking God to make my words words of life, to help me to see, to really see people through His eyes and not my own, to see their pain and to reach out and help them through it - to give them hope that there is a way through it.  I want to hate gossip as much as He does and not to let it be a part of me along with the destruction and pain that goes with it.  I am asking Him to help me to make my words words that bring satisfaction and life to the hearer, to bring hope to the hopeless.  To think before I speak so that my words are a blessing to the hearer, not idle or hurtful.  I want it to be an ever present thought in my mind that my words ARE important!  That we can bless or we can slander and murder with our tongues, a word of gossip or just something that really needs not to be said can bring such destruction when we are careless.  Personally I have spent too many years speaking carelessly, I want to be a blessing, to bring life, growth, health, encouragement to the hearer, to shun gossip and not to speak OR let my ears be another's persons dumping ground - not to even receive an evil report about another, but to love others like God does.  Even when there is conflict with another, my prayer is that my words will be the truth in love, words of peace, His words.


So, today, what will your words be?


   "May the words of my mouth
      and the meditation of my heart
   be pleasing to you,

      O Lord, my rock and my redeemer." Ps 19:14 (NLT)

Your Scars Tell a Story... What Do They Say? Part 2 - Mr. Unlikely

Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, "If you abide in My Word, you are My disciples indeed.  And you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free."   8:31


OK, WHO ARE YOU?  Take a minute and answer it...  I guess my answers would be; lover of God, wife, mother, artist, friend, but what about QUALIFIED?  That is NOT usually a word that pops up in my head when I think about myself and probably because I have at times been told by others and even myself that I am NOT QUALIFiED.  I had been pondering the other day about how our scars can define us if we allow them to, when a friend called.  As we were talking he shared with me how he had been substituting a class at a Christian school he works at and had been given the task of doing a short devotional with some high school students.  Many of these kids have been at this school and church for a good part of their lives.  The question in the devotional was, "are you a sinner saved by grace or are you a saint?"  In six classes of students, not one said they were a saint.  Quick - how would YOU answer that question?  Really, we are both... we are sinners saved by grace (Eph 2:5) but once we realize our need for Him and accept His gift of salvation WE ARE SAINTS!  Yep, I said it!  YOU ARE A SAINT!!!!  If you are His, you are a saint, there are over 90 references in the Bible that say so!  Psalm 16:3 (amp) "As for the Godly (the saints) who are in the land, they are excellent, the noble, and the glorious, in whom is all my delight".  or the same verse in the (NLT) "The Godly people in the land are my true heroes!  I take pleasure in them!"  We don't get sainthood because of some set of rules that man came up with to qualify us, some measure of perfection that dictates who is "good enough" to warrant the title and a statue.  The word of God calls those that are Godly, those after His heart, saints, and He takes pleasure, He is delighted with us!  How amazing is it that the God of the universe is DELIGHTED with you!  Does that mean you are perfect - uh, yeah, NO!  But, it means that He loves you anyway, scars and all!   That with a heart open to and seeking HIm, He is perfecting you, healing you and preparing you!  Does it mean that you can live a life full of doing evil, of course not, but what it does mean is this...  All those scars that have told you that you were disqualified, those wounds, those failures, those mistakes that made you feel like you could never please God are simply LIES!!!!!  What it means is -  it doesn't matter if the world has told you that you will never amount to much, that you have little to offer, God is not looking at you as scarred, He is looking at you through potential...  Remember, when we have accepted what Jesus did for us on the cross, taking our sin upon Himself, we can stand before the Father as if we never sinned, a clean slate!  "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."  2 Cor 5:17  To think on that we are "sinners saved by grace", is to remember what He has done for us, to be thankful for His amazing gift, but to move on to the revelation that you are a saint is to accept what He has done and live as the Godly, child of the King that you are!  Even if right now you feel like you mess up more than anything else, even if you like feel like more of a sinner than a saint, you have the life of Jesus Himself within you!  Maybe it is time to quit going by your feeling and trust what the word of God says about you!  Your feelings can move you all over the place, but the TRUTH is what sets you free!  His truth, pressing in to know Him, to experience His presence and to know His peace...  In His presence is where you will find the REAL you, in His presence is where you will get victory over the scars and see the potential He sees in you - the potential you may not even see yourself.


Gideon... one of my favorite cases of potential no one saw but God.  In Judges 6, the Israelites have been under the yoke of the Midianites for seven years.  They lived in fear and starvation as every harvest and all their sources of food were stolen by their enemy.  The people cried out to God for deliverance and God picks Mr. Unlikely.  Here is Gideon, hiding in a winepress to beat out the wheat, hiding so the enemy will not find him out and steal his wheat.  "And the Angel of the Lord appeared to him and said to him, The Lord is with you, you mighty man of (fearless) courage."  Judges 6:12 I mean excuse me?  You mean the guy hiding in the wine press, THAT fearless mighty man of valor?  And that is pretty much Gideon's response...  "well ah, if God is with me, then why are we in this situation?  um, sorry, but no man of valor here God!"  He continued on to test to see if it was really God speaking to him!  God goes on to work in his heart and Gideon BECOMES the mighty man of valor the Angel said he would be.


David was a young shepherd when he was called to be King... Mr. Unlikely!  Moses was a murderer with a speech impediment hiding in the desert when God called him to lead his people to freedom and speak to Pharaoh...  Mr. Unlikely!  Josiah was an eight years old  when he became king and turned his people back to the Lord...  Mr. Unlikely!  Esther was an poor orphan girl who became queen to save her people... Mrs. Unlikely!  The list goes on and on... you can add ALL of the disciples to that list, ALL unlikely candidates for the tasks God had before them, honestly I can't think of one hero of the faith that would have been considered by man as the best choice for the job.  To me the list proves several things... first off, broken pasts DO NOT disqualify us, secondly, I see a lack of natural ability actually as a basis FOR qualification!  For me, I was absolutely terrified of public speaking, I would stress, sweat and stammer, I hated it!  So God in His sense of humor gifts me with teaching and preaching - WHAT?  Are you kidding me God?  ME get up in front of people and speak?  I look back on the fear and dread that I had over public speaking, and although it still can be intimidating, the zeal for God is so great in my heart that I can not WAIT to preach!  There is nothing like the feeling of sharing the word of God and having others be filled with His presence and receive from Him by using me.  This how I know it is HIS gifting... it is so far outside of my natural talents, that HE gets all the glory!  Just like it should be.


So, Mr. or Ms. Unlikely, what is it God is calling YOU to?  Do not let your scars tell you that you can not do it!  Just add your name to the "Unlikely" list and jump on board for the ride of your life!

Your Scars Tell a Story... What Do They Say? Part 1 - Damaged Goods

When I was 11 or 12, I was riding my bike with a friend when her dog ran in front of me and hit my front tire.  I went tumbling over the handlebars and onto the gravel road.  With three pieces of gravel stuck firmly into my knee and blood everywhere, I hobbled home while crying hysterically.  My dad came to my rescue and did his best to comfort me and patch me up.  I remember being horrified that he had to pull the rocks out and clean the nasty mess that was my knee.  We did not have any neosporin to disinfect it so he used some sort of spray that sent me through the roof in pain as he sprayed it.  Of course I was not happy to have the wound cleaned and disinfected as it caused more pain to an already painful scenario, but because of my father's love for me he knew it was better for me to endure a short time of pain (however hard that was for him to see), so that my wound healed correctly without infection or problems.  Many years have passed and all that is left of the trauma is the memory of the event without the pain, a very small, faint scar at the bottom of my knee, gratitude for my dad and wisdom of not taking a beagle with you on a bike ride!

Every one of us has scars and the stories that go with them, visible reminders of our past.  But what about the scars that don't show, the ones that go deeper, the ones that can't have a spray of disinfectant, a bandaid and a kiss to heal?  These are the inner scars, the ones that tell stories of growing up with alcoholism and dysfunction, of betrayal, rejection and brokenness.  My wounds used to speak very different things than they speak today... they used to speak to me that I was useless, worthless, they used to push me to drugs and alcohol, perfectionism, anorexia, lack of self worth and extreme self-hatred, today they speak of an amazing God who loved me enough to pick me up out of my mess, bring me salvation, clean up the mess that was my life and set me on a path of healing.  My scars used to tell me that I was "damaged goods", not acceptable, not of the "in" crowd, on the outside looking in.  Everything in my life was filtered through the wrong perspectives of the pain of my past that tried to destroy my future.  Nothing was healed, just stuffed and covered - trying desperately to pretend everything was ok.  Just as in the natural a wound has to be cared for correctly to heal well, we can't carelessly refuse to clean it or disinfect it and expect a good result, so too is it in the spirit...  the things that have wounded us deeply cannot be left without care to heal properly.  Years ago I realized I had stuffed a very deep betrayal from my childhood, I had never told anyone what happened and tried hard to pretend it never happened.  Years later, the Lord showed me how I had grown bitter and distrusting because of it and inwardly it was like gangrene, eating away at me and affecting how I treated others.  It had to be brought to light to be healed.  Like my dad with my knee, I went to my Abba, and even though it was painful to deal with, He lovingly cleaned it up, disinfected it and comforted me through the pain, now it is a memory without the pain, a small faint scar, with wisdom gained and thankfulness to my Dad.

Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, "If you abide in My Word, you are My disciples indeed.  And you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free."  They answered Him, "We are Abraham's descendants, and have never been in bondage to anyone.  How can You say, "You will be made free'?"  Jesus answered them, "Most assuredly, I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave to sin.  And a slave does not abide in the house forever.  but a son abides forever.  Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed."  John 8:31-36


This scripture is a starting point to healing... "If you abide in My Word", if we abide or LIVE IN HIS WORD, we are His disciples and will know the truth and that truth that we know will set us free!  It begins with His word, it begins with living in it, living it, breathing it, believing it, accepting it - accepting who His word says we are, not what our scars speak, not even what the voices of those who have hurt us say - what HE SAYS ABOUT YOU!!!!!  We do not have to be slaves to sin any longer, slaves to our own sin or the sin of others against us, the SON HAS MADE YOU FREE!!!!

You are not "damaged goods", no matter what you have done or what has been done to you, there is forgiveness in Him and there is healing.  Through Him, there is forgiveness of your sin and through Him is the ability to forgive those who have hurt you.  Your Abba (Daddy God)  is waiting to bring healing, to set you free from the pain that has held you captive.  There is freedom, it is REAL, I have experienced it and I can testify that there is NOTHING too big or too hard for Him to heal.  I am not saying that healing is always easy, there may be a little sting, but He will be there with the comfort you need and it will be worth it!

Why the Crazy Name?

I was told by a friend today, kind of demanded really to start blogging.  The really funny part of it is that he sent it in a text saying "get your own BOG up now".  We had been talking about a scripture about a marsh and I thought he was talking about the marsh (bog) - it took me a few minutes before I understood it was a typo!  I guess it was a blonde moment on my part - oh well!

So why the crazy name?  Well....  My heart is to write about embracing who you are, the REAL you that God made, the amazing, wonderful you that He has called you to be, whether that is celebrated by others or not.  The Lord gave me a great illustration of this this summer.  In July I went with a couple friends to a conference in South Carolina.  I guess I had a prejudice that I really wasn't aware of or at least wasn't ready to admit... that I HATE tambourines, can't stand them!  It always seemed to me that the people who chose to pull one out during times of worship for some reason could not find a musical beat to save their lives.  I wasn't a fan of their sound and was even less of a fan of them being played off beat and it was a horrible distraction to me.  I guess I had also passed judgement that it was kind of "the weird tambourine lady" thing to do - yes, horrible thought I know, but hadn't really realized I had been thinking it, until... One night at the conference in July during a sweet time of worship, the presence of God was amazing, I felt like the Lord was wanting me to dance, well I don't dance!  Or at least not for years, and immediately I felt self conscious and uncomfortable, but at the same time felt like there was a freedom that would come from it and I wanted that, so I moved a little and tried to convince myself it was dancing.  I felt the Lord saying, No, REALLY dance!  But as much as I wanted to, I just couldn't get myself to do it, couldn't get out of my own skin enough.  The next morning during the time of worship, I felt the same thing and again, just couldn't do it.  That night, I was determined, went up to the front during worship, and had an amazing time of worship and yes, a little dance.  After the message that night there was an extended time of prayer and the worship leader began a song.  A beautiful woman in her sixties got up, stood right in front of me and began to dance, and then I realized she had a tambourine in her hand... SO yes, my thoughts went immediately to, yep, she's weird, but standing RIGHT THERE, 3 feet in front of me, it was kind of like God saying, "do you see this?"  As I watched her, something amazing happened, instead of seeing some weird tambourine lady acting a fool, a saw for just a brief second how God must see her... it was beautiful!  Her dance was beautiful, the tambourine on beat and rhythmic, and more than that was the grace and peace I saw on her face....  she didn't care one bit if I was standing there in judgement of her or not, not in a weird, out there defiant way, but in a peaceful understanding of who she is way.  She danced before her Lord in peace, in freedom and it was incredibly beautiful.  So, I no longer hate tambourines, not because I don't hate tambourines, because really I still don't  like them, but for what they have come to mean to me... it isn't about their sound or whether they are played according to my sense of musical prowess, it is for what they now stand for in me... embracing who it is God has made me to be whether those around me judge or misunderstand me or not, freedom is calling, and I am embracing the things of His heart (yes, even the things I don't understand like crazy tambourines) to know Him more... deep calls to deep, the presence of my God is just too sweet to substitute for man's approval, even if that means to someone else that I am their weird tambourine lady.  My "weird tambourine lady" taught me a wonderful lesson... who cares, just dance!