World Changers

I have never liked to run.  Actually I have always really HATED to run.  I have been a personal trainer, an aerobic instructor and have loved fitness for many years, but NOT running.  Recently, I decided that I wanted a challenge and that I would make myself run for 6 weeks.  If, after that 6 week time period I still hated to run, I would go back to my other forms of exercise, but I would commit to the 6 weeks.  It was rough the first couple of weeks and I wondered if this challenge was a good idea, but I kept going, I was not going to let running kick my butt.  I am almost done with the challenge and although I can't say that I love to run, God has used this time in some pretty amazing ways to teach me about myself and pushing past the pain in life for the goal ahead.  To be able to hear His voice through the pain when all I wanted to do was give in to it.  So many times when I felt like I HAD to stop, I could feel His Presence, hear His voice telling me that I could do it, that I was well able.  I started with alternating walking and running, from one mailbox to the next in my neighborhood... small goals and then would ask God what was next, how should I expand those goals and I would hear Him speak on what was next, it has been a beautiful time.

This morning I really was not at all wanting to run but I did.  I didn't push myself very hard, but I had a great time of prayer - ("prayer" meaning, no fancy talk, just time out running with my Best friend talking).  I was close to the end of my run when I normally walk a little then run up the slight hill and down to my house, but instead of stopping I felt compelled to just continue all the way home - further than I usually run, on a day I wasn't feeling it.  But I felt as if He were cheering me on to do it.

As I had been running I had been thinking about something that a woman I had just met prayed over me about a year ago.  As she prayed she said, "WOW, you are a world changer!"  She knew very little about me and her prayer caught me by surprise because I don't think of myself in that way at all, I am just me.  But since that prayer, I have thought about it a lot, and this morning as I thought about it, it rose up in my spirit that I really AM a world changer, it doesn't matter if I FEEL like one, I am, and I started to ask the Lord what a world changer really is.

When I would think of World Changers, I would think of people like Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr., etc. but is that what a world changer always is?  Is it always someone who will make the history books?  What about those that quietly make a difference that no one ever knows about?  What about the man who works as a security guard and brings PB&J's to a couple of friends of mine that live under a bridge?  I don't even know his name, but he is a hero, he is a world changer in my eyes because he changes the world for the people he touches with his love and care for them.  What if being a world changer is just stepping out and changing someone's day for the better?  Giving of ourselves even in small ways, a kind word, an encouragement, etc.  I have never known anything as powerful nor as addictive as the feeling of being in the center of God's heart to love people - there is nothing that compares to feeling His Presence, hearing His voice, experiencing His love and pouring that love on others, nothing...people spend their entire lives bound to drugs that suck the life OUT of them, lifestyles of striving for more - more money, more stuff, more fame, more whatever and there is no substance to it, just an empty pursuit... but the more of Him I give of myself, the more FULL I feel.  There is nothing in the natural that follows His supernatural ways... the more we give to Him our hearts, the more He fills them with Himself, puts life in us, pours life through us... makes us world changers, not because we set out to change the world, but because we are so full of His love we can' help it, we are compelled to...

So as I was running further than I wanted to go this morning, I felt the Lord show me that I have a race to run, my entire life has been "training" for this time RIGHT NOW, my race is uniquely my own, I am not being timed, nor am I competing against another, I am just running MY race...  It IS one of a world changer and as I began to crest the hill it was as if I could see many friends gathered on both sides of the road cheering me on.  I was thinking that it was like God was cheering me on from the side lines as well, but then I felt Him say, " no, I am running WITH you."

You were made to be a world changer - you have YOUR race to run, come on, let's go!

Hebrews 12:12 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, ² looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Leaving Rehab...

Phil 3:7 But whatever former things I had that might have been gains to me, I have come to consider as [[a]one combined] loss for Christ’s sake.

8 Yes, furthermore, I count everything as loss compared to the possession of the priceless privilege (the overwhelming preciousness, the surpassing worth, and supreme advantage) of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and of progressively becoming more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him [of perceiving and recognizing and understanding Him more fully and clearly]. For His sake I have lost everything and consider it all to be mere rubbish (refuse, dregs), in order that I may win (gain) Christ (the Anointed One),

9 And that I may [actually] be found and known as in Him, not having any [self-achieved] righteousness that can be called my own, based on my obedience to the Law’s demands (ritualistic uprightness and supposed right standing with God thus acquired), but possessing that [genuine righteousness] which comes through faith in Christ (the Anointed One), the [truly] right standing with God, which comes from God by [saving] faith.

10 [For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [[b]which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope]

11 That if possible I may attain to the [[c]spiritual and moral] resurrection [that lifts me] out from among the dead [even while in the body].

12 Not that I have now attained [this ideal], or have already been made perfect, but I press on to lay hold of (grasp) and make my own, that for which Christ Jesus (the Messiah) has laid hold of me and made me His own.

13 I do not consider, brethren, that I have captured and made it my own [yet]; but one thing I do [it is my one aspiration]: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,14 I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward.

Last week was a good week.  Actually, it was a GREAT week...  it started off by having one homeless friend get a job, another get an apartment, another go into a shelter and another go into a drug and alcohol rehab program.  I was really happy to know these people that I care about so deeply were moving forward, seeing hope return into their lives.  Then Saturday came and two young men I love very much chose to leave the rehab house they were in and I was devastated... I guess I went through a grieving process because it went through those typical stages of anger, sadness and the question of why?  (honestly I camped a bit in the anger stage, and added a tad bit of judgement to the pot as well - which of course I am in no way proud of, but just speaking the truth here and YES God corrected that in my heart) 

And then Sunday came...  I had to drive to Raleigh to pick my son up from the airport so I had time to worship and pray as I drove.  My heart was overwhelmed and instead of being angry at them, I saw some things I hadn't seen before, things in me.  How many times have I left "rehab"?  How many times have I let the temporal things in front of my eyes keep me from walking through things that may be hard to do at the time for a greater good that they would accomplish in me?  How many times has my own selfishness and demanding to do things in my own way in my own timing robbed me of the good He had for me?  How many times have I set off in a direction that I knew He was leading me only to let it last days, hours or even seconds?  How many times have I acted as if the days and years of my life were mine to choose, as if they were my own?

Saturday night a friend and I had been talking about the power that Paul walked in, how it wasn't an occasional thing, but from what I see of the Word, a daily thing.  But, I see in Paul something today that I am determining in my heart and praying that I will not stray from... something I will not "leave rehab" on...  Paul had a determined purpose - to KNOW HIM, to increasingly become MORE acquainted with Him, to walk in ALL that He offers us.  His determination to let everything else become as worthless as rubbish to him is what kept Him in His Presence, what pushed him to become more and more like him, to so intimately walk with him that signs and wonders were not what he was seeking, they were just an outpouring of who he had become in Him - he reflected Jesus, because that was all he cared about being... more like HIM!

So, Sunday morning, my anger and sadness for what I saw as a blown opportunity by two men who NEEDED that opportunity... I now saw was a reflection of all the opportunities I have blown, for the rebellion in my own heart that likes to plan out and decide my own future, that hates for someone else to tell me what to do and how to do, that wants to do my own thing...

"I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."  Galatians 2:20

This was the cry of Paul's heart - he LIVED this!  In LIVING this, in TRULY knowing, truly allowing his flesh to be crucified - dying to his own desires, truly allowing Jesus' life to flow through him, truly exchanging his own life for the FAR greater life that Jesus offers to be a reality in Him, he saw what became his heart's desire... He became LIKE Him.  

Through all of this, through the anger the sadness for what I judged as another's mistake, I saw my own desperateness...  how many times I have "left rehab" have not allowed God to do all that He could do within me..  It made me look within myself.  I see Paul's determined purpose and I make it my own...  the cry of my heart - to KNOW HIM, to TRULY crucify my own flesh and let Him live through me - to NOT leave rehab, but to TRULY allow HIM to be the one that leads to let His love wash over me and through me, to help me to "forget what's behind and press onward", to surrender ALL.

Those that minister to the addicted say that rehab will not work until the one addicted realizes how much they need it.  Today, I realize how much I need His touch, how much I need Him and I am desperate, desperate to be rid of this addiction to self, desperate to Know Him more, at the end of me...desperate for Him!

Buried Treasure in Unlikely Places

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field."  Matthew 13:44

A few weeks ago during prayer, I felt Holy Spirit speaking to me about the parables of the Kingdom of Heaven, the treasure hidden in the field.  It is taught that the gospel is the field in which the treasure, Jesus, is to be found… in His word.  When we find Jesus, our true treasure of priceless, unspeakable value, because of the joy of knowing Him, we give up all else, that nothing else matters but to have Him.  Yes, this is certainly the case - He is our great Treasure and nothing this world could offer us could compare.  When we see the hidden Treasure and it's value, we count everything else as loss to know Him - knowing Him becomes our obsession, our inexpressible joy, nothing else in this life can compare.

 "Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ"  Phillippians 3:8

As we worshipped and prayed, I felt Him speak that I was HIS treasure…  that HE gave up all - gave up heaven, gave His life, gave everything to have me!  That He saw the hidden treasure within me and I was WORTH IT!  That I was worth all He gave…  

AMAZING!!!! He saw me as a priceless treasure when no one else (not even I) could see there was anything worthwhile…  When all anyone else could see was an empty field, HE saw treasure worth dying for…

YOU are HIS treasure!  YOU were worth dying for!  Whether anyone else can see the gold within you are not - HE DOES!!!! 

Not only does He see us as treasure, as worth the cost, when we become His, He puts all of who He is within us - the Kingdom of Heaven - within us!  

As we continued to pray I felt Him ask me "What are going to do with this Treasure?"  I was reminded of the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30)  How the wise servants took the talents the master gave them and invested them wisely, with return on those investments and the unwise servant buried what he was given.  

24 “Then he who had received the one talent came and said, ‘Lord, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you have not sown, and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25 And I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground. Look, there you have what is yours."  Matthew 25:24

"Lord, I KNEW YOU to be a hard man"…  this speaks to me of a heart with a wrong understanding of the character of God… he hid the the talent because of fear.  He took the treasure that was given him and did nothing with it because he didn't understand the heart of God.  When we have revelation that we are FULLY loved, that we serve a Daddy that loves us - He is not a "hard man" but a Daddy that loves us and wants to love THROUGH us.  The love of God within us, the treasure of who He is, is NOT to be buried, but invested in others!  We are to do something with that treasure within us!!!!  He invested ALL for us, and we are to invest in others - to love without reserve as He did and because He placed that treasure (ALL of who He is) within us, we have the ability through Him!

" Cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, drive out demons. Freely (without pay) you have received, freely (without charge) give."  Matthew 10:8

What are you gonna do with that Treasure?

Being a BIG Grasshopper...

A few days ago the Lord put it on my heart to believe for something that to me is really BIG, something I know He has done for others, but a real stretch for me.  The kind of things you think of that he does for the real BIG spiritual powerhouses that I have looked up to...  But as I was praying He was asking me if I could "see" myself in the situation He was telling me to believe for.

This morning, as we worshipped in church we sang a song, "and I sing because You are good, and I dance because You are good, and I shout because You are good, You are good to me..."  I felt Him speak to my heart, "can you dance NOW, BEFORE you SEE the evidence?  BEFORE the keys I am giving you are in your hand?"  I thought about how when the answer to this prayer comes, how I will be singing, dancing and shouting how good He is in the middle of the street without giving a RIP about what anyone may think because it WILL be a miracle - there is NO way in the natural that I can make this think happen on my own.  But what about now?  Can I do it now? I am not a dancer nor shouter by nature, and I lost my nerve.

Yes, when the answer comes it will be HUGE, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that He has already given me MORE than enough reason to sing, to dance and to shout how good He is.  It made me think about situations I have been in my life, the situations were hard, the trials tough to get through and yet through them all - the situation may have been bad, but HE was still good!

I know there are many people going through very difficult circumstances, asking God for BIG things and this morning while singing that song I was reminded of the story of King Jehoshaphat in 2 Chronicles 20.  Three armies had come against Judah, HUGE armies, well able to wipe Judah out completely.  Jehoshaphat feared, BUT, he doesn't pitch a tent there!  He calls all of Judah to a fast to seek the Lord.  It is a natural thing to fear when we are faced with a BIG enemy against us, but it's what we do next that matters - do we stay in fear, do we see ourselves as grasshoppers compared to the "giants" or do we do as our Pastor Dan Colvin says - can we then stay BIG and see ourselves as HUGE grasshoppers, no matter the disappointments we have in our past!

All of Judah fasts and Jehoshaphat stands before them in the house of the Lord and begins to speak about all the things that God had done in the past.  Please note, these are NOT things that he HIMSELF had experienced, they were things he had been taught.  Many times we find it hard to have hope for BIG things because we personally have not seen God do them, but neither had Jehoshaphat - he called to remembrance for himself and all of Judah all the things God had done in the past - for their ancestors, not them directly.  The word says that God is the same yesterday, today and forever...  we can do as Jehoshaphat did and encourage ourselves by the great things that God has done for others, we can read His word and believe that if He did it for others He CAN do it for us too!  By doing this his faith and the faith of Judah rose up and yours will too when you fill your mind and heart with His word!

The prophet Jahaziel, speaks, "You shall not need to fight in this battle; take your positions, stand still, and see the deliverance of the Lord Who is with you O Judah and Jerusalem.  Fear not nor be dismayed.  Tomorrow go out against them for the Lord is with you."  2 Chron. 20:17

As a believer, your "position" is IN Him, when we engage heaven, stand still in who we are in Him, the battle is fought for us...  No matter how noisy and fearful the battle is around us, we can "take our position" on the lap of our Abba, our Daddy, let Him hold us still and see the deliverance that HE will bring.

"And Jehoshaphat bowed his head with his face to the ground, and all Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem fell down before the Lord worshipping Him.  And some Levites of the Korathites and Korahites stood up to praise the Lord, the God of Israel, with a very loud voice."  2 Chron. 20:19

They SANG because He is good and the Shouted because He is good!!!!  They worshipped and sang and shouted...  the next day the worshippers and singers went in FRONT of the army saying "Give thanks to the Lord for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever! (vs. 21)  They were STILL facing a terrible enemy that meant to wipe them out, but worshipped, praised and thanked him for His goodness!  The rest of this story tells of how the three armies became confused and took each other out - Judah never even had to fight them!  For many days the people of Judah picked up all the "booty" left among the armies, so much it took them 3 days to carry it all away... not only did God give them the victory through the power of them seeking His way... singing, dancing, shouting His goodness even when the circumstances shouted back to them differently, but because of the miraculous victory the Lord gave them wealth and their enemies became afraid of them, and left them in peace.

So I have decided that I am going to SING because HE IS GOOD, DANCE because HE IS GOOD and SHOUT because HE IS GOOD!!!!  Before the victory, and I will SEE the victory - will you join me?  You will see that He is REALLY is more than you ever thought possible... and you are positioned for a miracle!

Please see 2 Chronicles 20 if you want to read the whole story.  Please contact me if you have any questions, want to know more about Jesus or would like prayer.

Too Broken to Fix? - John 5, part 1

For the past few months I have found myself returning to a well known story in John 5.  Most of us have read the story of the crippled man at the pool of Bethesda.  I thought I knew the story through and through, but there is so much more to the story...  so much more that makes this miracle even more significant than I had ever realized, so much that speaks to my heart through the centuries and reveals the healing available to us all no matter how "broken" we may be.

John 5:2 Now there is in Jerusalem a pool near the Sheep Gate. This pool in the Hebrew is called Bethesda, having five porches (alcoves, colonnades, doorways).

3 In these lay a great number of sick folk—some blind, some crippled, and some paralyzed (shriveled up)—[a]waiting for the bubbling up of the water.

4 For an angel of the Lord went down at appointed seasons into the pool and moved and stirred up the water; whoever then first, after the stirring up of the water, stepped in was cured of whatever disease with which he was afflicted.

5 There was a certain man there who had suffered with a deep-seated and lingering disorder for thirty-eight years.6 When Jesus noticed him lying there [helpless], knowing that he had already been a long time in that condition, He said to him, Do you want to become well? [Are you really in earnest about getting well?]

7 The invalid answered, Sir, I have nobody when the water is moving to put me into the pool; but while I am trying to come [into it] myself, somebody else steps down ahead of me.

This man had suffered so long, his answer that he had no one to help him into the water speaks that his soul was as sick as his body.  He didn't have anyone to help him, his hope of being healed was dashed, he was left broken, alone, hopeless, years wasted, unable to move.  I am sure this man had dreams, things that he desperately wanted to do with his life, but circumstance did not allow those dreams to be realized.  I wonder if he felt like too much time had passed, that after all that time, he would never be able to realize those dreams, he was no longer a young man, his chance was gone - (few people in the first century lived past fifty).  In our modern culture we idolize youth, doing everything possible to preserve it.  So much emphasis is put on youth that we tend to forget that to God age does not matter, he uses the young, the old and everything in between.  In His word, many did not even really get started until they were well past the age we would find useful - Moses, Abraham, the list goes on. 

Too often, those that the world see as disabled become almost invisible, forgotten.  No one "saw" him, to help him to the water, he was too broken to help himself...

Jesus sees him in his helpless state, knowing he has been there a long time and yet asks him if he wants to become well?  I thought this question odd until I thought about how we can so easily become comfortable in our situations - even if we despise the situation, it is what we know and change can be scary. Or sometimes we just don't have any idea how to do things differently than we have always done - it can be unnerving to navigate how to live in a new reality we have never known.  Had this man ever worked?  Now, it would be expected of him.  Had he ever done any of the things that we consider part of everyday life?  He would now have to learn to live what most would have taken for granted.

So, with a heart full of "what if's", failure, regret and hopelessness, SUDDENLY, everything changed.  In one moment, he experienced SOZO (healing, deliverance, salvation) and was never the same, as he "took up his bed and walked" into new life.

There are some things in my life that had made me feel emotionally stuck, broken, paralyzed, not able to move forward.  I still had big God dreams in my heart, but felt as the birthdays had been adding on, my usefulness for God was diminishing, my time running out, my chances gone.  Situations had made me feel that I was invisible and I had gotten so used to it, that it had become the "norm".  I had felt that my brokenness had disqualified me, not so much in the eyes of God as in the eyes of people who saw my brokenness but not my heart.  Just as this man, centuries ago felt like others could step down into the pool and be healed, yet he was passed by, I had felt passed by, passed over, invisible.

Vs 5 - Jesus "noticed" him...  Jesus noticed him and He notices us...  This man had a choice to make - did he really want change, healing? I realized that I have that same choice to make.  Do I trust Him that He is able to heal every hurt in my heart?  Do I believe all the He has said over my life and am I willing to allow Him to change me?  Am I going to choose to listen to what He says about me, or am I going to listen to my fears, what others say, what the enemy says, etc., and stay stuck?  It doesn't matter what our past (or even your present) is unless we choose to stay and live there forever.  In a world that throws things away now instead of having them fixed, we need to remember that Daddy God does not do that, he is still in the restoration business.

You are not too old, you are not too broken and you are not invisible...  He notices you...

Tainted Vision, Labels and Sponge Bob's Brain

There is a scene from a Sponge Bob episode that Sponge Bob is trying to retrieve information out of his brain.  It shows the inside of his brain as a room full of file cabinets and a bunch of mini Sponge Bob's frantically running around pulling out files trying to find the info he is looking for and ends up with them all kind of short circuiting and the files all flying everywhere.

For months I have been thinking about how it seems to be a part of our human nature to want to "label" people, situations, etc., and file them away in our brains - it is easy and neat.  The problem is that rarely can a person be neatly "labeled and filed", put into neat little categories that we create.  I have had several situations over the past year that I have been labeled and filed.  I am NOT what I was labeled, but once the label was slapped on and the file drawer closed there was absolutely NOTHING I could do that was going to change it.  It made me really start to think about how I "label and file" others, do I look at them through my own tainted vision and determine who I think they are?  Do I take a few words or actions and make a judgement as to their entire personality?  Do I lock the file drawer and never allow them to escape the "label" I have assigned to them?  When I look at people, am I REALLY SEEING them, or is my vision tainted by my own past hurts, my own issues of distrust or pain or anything else that can keep me from seeing clearly?  Am I seeing them as God does, with value and worth, not easily categorized into my mental filing system?  Am I giving them grace or a label?

In Judges 6 & 7 is a beautiful example of how God sees so differently than we do.  The Midianites had been the enemy of Israel for seven years.  Every year they would come in "like locusts" and would destroy all their crops and livestock.  For seven years the Israelites lived in fear of their enemy and fear of starvation.  Because of this, Gideon hides in a winepress to thresh his wheat.  Here is a fearful man, hiding from his enemy in hopes that he could save his wheat and save himself and his family from starvation.  Yet as an Angel of the Lord appears to him, he addresses him, "The Lord is with you, you mighty man of fearless courage!"  First off, I am sure that it did not appear at all to him that the Lord was with him, secondly, I am sure that he did not see himself, nor did anyone else see him as a "mighty man of fearless courage."  Gideon questions this, asking why the Lord has forsaken them and where are the miracles of the past, and the Lord says, "Go in this might of yours, and you shall save Israel from the hand of the Midianites.  Have I not sent you?"

Really?  The scared guy hiding in the winepress, THIS is the guy, THIS is the "mighty man of fearless courage" that is going to save Israel from their enemies?  THIS guy?  It is clear that Gideon did not see this about himself as he asked God for various signs that it was Him really speaking.  This scripture is used sometimes to talk about doubting because Gideon questioned God, but I see it so differently.  I see that God saw the gold HE had put within Gideon, the things HE had put within him that only HE could see... in Gideon's doubt, God revealed to him that he was hearing correctly, the signs he asked for were fulfilled so that Gideon's eyes could be opened to see himself as God saw him.

Gideon BECAME the man God saw within him, he was transformed into the man God saw he could be.  God used him to defeat the enemy without even having to battle, God used him to do miracles... a man that had thought miracles were of the past, saw that God was still a God of miracles.  If God could do that for Gideon, what does He have for you?  Maybe you have "labeled and filed" yourself, maybe you see your own faults and failings and can't see beyond them to the greatness within you - God does not make junk and He made you -  you are not a mistake or an afterthought.  Maybe you have never seen God do a miracle and think as Gideon did, "where are all His wondrous works of which our fathers told us"...  Maybe, you are a "mighty man of fearless courage" hiding in a winepress...  BUT, you don't have to STAY in that winepress!  As God was ready to pull that gold out of Gideon and TRANSFORM him into the man He saw he could be, He can do for you!  He is still the God of miracles and He is still the God that loves you, He is still the God that transforms!  If you have doubt, talk to Him!  If you need His reassurance, ask Him!  Let Him rearrange your thinking, pull off the labels you have put on yourself and replace them with His label - as with Gideon, from "fearful"  to "fearless!"

My prayer is that we all will allow God to show us how He sees us and how He sees those around us too.  When we see the "Gideons" around us are we "labeling and filing" them with how WE see them? I want to see people through His eyes, not my own!  This story illustrates how our sight in the natural could be totally missing it!  I want to be one who helps to reveal the treasures of God within others, to love and encourage and help them to grow!


If you have never read the rest of the story, it is amazing!  (Judges 6-7)

Pressing on...

There are people we meet in our journey that touch our hearts so deeply, it is hard to describe.  Of course our parents and our families play a huge role in who we are and I am thankful for my parents and love them dearly, but this morning I have been thinking about those others that God has put in my path.  Some of these people are people that sow years into us, helping us to grow and become the people that God sees inside of us.  Those that make us want to be better…  Carolyn Quinn prayed with me the day I asked Jesus into my life and has loved, mentored and helped to pick me up ever since.  She is a so precious to me, I am so thankful that God placed her in my life and I am beyond blessed to know her, her endless love and mercy towards me presses me on to be better.  In my saying "better", I am not talking about a beating myself up because I am not perfect thing.  I am meaning that there are those people God puts in our lives that press us on to know Jesus more, to give up more of self and dive headlong into the deep with Him as they have, as if they are in the deep end of an endless pool urging us on to "jump in, the water is fine!" 

Then there are those that are in our lives for a season, however long that may be.  When I think of my dear friend and mentor Orvilla Brown, my heart fills with wonder.  Although she was older than my grandmother when we met, there was no age difference in our friendship.  Even as I write my heart aches with missing her… she "got" me without me having to explain, she saw the gifts of God in me and drew them out of me, she filled me with the goodness of God through the stories of His faithfulness to her and her prayers and prophetic insight.  She may have been outwardly frail, but inside she was a powerhouse - strong, faithful and loving - everything I want to be.  She knew Him so intimately, our visits were filled with His presence and she urged me on to go deeper, to press on to know Him more…  to love Him and His kids, to press on and be better.

Pat Johnson, afflicted with ALS and yet taught me many "sermons" by the example of her life.  This amazing woman always made me feel like I left with treasure within whenever I spent time with her - she would thank me for coming and I would be overwhelmed knowing that I was the one leaving blessed and hoping that I was blessing her even just a small percentage of how much she blessed me.  I visited her once in the hospital, she was having trouble speaking, but she told her best friend to ask me if I could stand where she could see my face because she could see Jesus in my eyes.  It completely wrecks me every time I think of it because it was the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.  She said that it gave her the comfort of the Lord to look in my eyes.  I looked into hers and saw a superhero of a woman inside a body that could no longer hold this amazing woman who did more in my spirit in that one instant than a thousand sermons.  The nurses called her Sunshine and her funeral was filled with caregivers she led to the Lord through her journey.  I am so thankful I knew her, she made me want to be better... 

Some seasons are short ones, shorter than we want them to be, maddeningly short.  I found out last night that a season that I had hoped would be longer is not to be.  I am trying to look at the positive and be thankful that I had the season at all, no matter how short, and I AM thankful, but so sad also… it is so hard sometimes to let go of something we don't want to be over with yet.  I met Pastor Myra in such a God way and our hearts connected immediately, I wanted more time with her, but I guess with truly amazing people we meet, we ALWAYS want more time with them no matter how long we were blessed to have them in our lives.  They add such a richness to life that we want them to be a part of it always.  Yes, I know we have eternity together and yes that is a comfort, but yes, I still wanted more time with her here on earth.  In the little time I knew her, she displayed such love, grace and anointing of God, she made me want to be better.

Like all of us, I could write a book about all of the amazing people God has put into my path …  I am so very thankful to God for all of you, my wonderful friends that have meant so much to me and I want you to know how much I love and appreciate you!  To those that I miss so much, I am thankful that God put them in my life and that I will one day be reunited… until then, I hold the richness of my season with them, the gift of God they sowed into me and I pray that I become all that God has for me to be, that their sowing was into good ground in my heart, that I give all the love He desires me to give and continue to be urged on to press on by their memory and how they saw the gift of God in me.  There is still so much to do, so many who do not know His love, so many that see no worth in themselves, I want to be one who sees Him in the eyes of another who can't see it in themselves and help them to press on…

Philippians 3:7-14 (NKJV)

7 But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. 8 Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; 10 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, 11 if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.12 Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:7-14 (NLT)

7 I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. 8 Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ 9 and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ.[a] For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. 10 I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, 11 so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!12 I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it,[b] but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.